The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing. 226 302 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 43% approval (528 votes)
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.
When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.