The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing. 226 302 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 43% approval (528 votes)
Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.
4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
Chuck Norris does not need to type-cast. The Chuck-Norris Compiler (CNC) sees through things. All way down. Always.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.