The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#643

Chuck Norris can milk ground beef from a cow.

#140

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

#588

Chuck Norris can over-write a locked variable.

#421

Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.

#688

If Chuck Norris were a vegetable he'd be a Chuck Norris.

#347

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

#104

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

#457

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.

#667

The French talk to Chuck Norris in English.

#171

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

#650

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

#447

Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.