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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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#107
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.
#217
Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
#504
Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.
#154
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
#524
Chuck Norris is actually the front man for Apple. He let's Steve Jobs run the show when he's on a mission. Chuck Norris is always on a mission.
#374
As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.
#330
4 out of 5 doctors fail to recommend Chuck Norris as a solution to most problems. Also, 80% of doctors die unexplained, needlessly brutal deaths.
#468
Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
#364
In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"
#599
How many Chuck Norris' require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.
#232
In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research.
#564
No one has ever pair-programmed with Chuck Norris and lived to tell about it.
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