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Roundhouse your way through
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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#94
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
#140
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
#256
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
#545
Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started.
#212
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
#723
Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.
#186
Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
#304
Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
#675
Chuck Norris can bake in a Freezer.
#426
Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.
#666
Chuck Norris' bones break sticks and stones.
#219
The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.
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