Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

#99

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

#255

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

#466

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Forty seven times.

#543

Chuck Norris protocol design method has no status, requests or responses, only commands.

#347

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

#462

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

#158

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

#554

Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.

#694

When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the dumbells get tired.

#718

Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.

#388

A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.