Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#281

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

#157

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

#357

Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard.

#382

Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car.

#605

Only Chuck Norris shuts down websites without due process, not SOPA or PIPA.

#149

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

#579

Chuck Norris types with one finger. He points it at the keyboard and the keyboard does the rest.

#265

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

#387

Think of a hot woman. Chuck Norris did her.

#257

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground

#171

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

#211

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.