Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#239

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.

#350

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

#85

According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks.

#390

Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.

#629

Chuck Norris can stand on his head. His dick-head.

#91

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

#163

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

#475

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

#697

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

#704

Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.

#603

Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.

#554

Chuck Norris doesn't use a computer because a computer does everything slower than Chuck Norris.