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Chuck Norris invented the internet, just so he had a place to store his porn.
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#227
'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
#13
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
#563
Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null.
#31
Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
#677
Chuck Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal, he eats it for breakfast.
#126
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
#108
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
#696
When Chuck Norris claps his hands thunder stays quiet.
#297
Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
#17
The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
#649
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
#426
Chuck Norris' penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.
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