When Chuck Norris crosses the road, cars look both ways.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#94

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

#287

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

#62

Chuck Norris breathes air … five times a day.

#118

Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

#520

Chuck Norris does not need to know about class factory pattern. He can instantiate interfaces.

#651

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

#27

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

#440

Chuck Norris runs on batteries. Specifically, Die Hards.

#160

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

#401

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

#212

A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer

#707

Some people can piss their name in to snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in to concrete.