When Chuck Norris crosses the road, cars look both ways.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#465

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in ravioli. He stuffs a live turtle with beef and smothers it in pig's blood.

#276

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

#745

Chuck Norris can swim on land.

#229

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.

#350

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

#168

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

#616

Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.

#74

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips. Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

#339

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

#332

The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

#697

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

#312

Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.