CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#699

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

#361

All roads lead to Chuck Norris. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face.

#94

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

#445

Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.

#595

Chuck Norris never has to build his program to machine code. Machines have learnt to interpret Chuck Norris code.

#453

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

#446

In the movie "The Matrix", Chuck Norris is the Matrix. If you pay close attention in the green "falling code" scenes, you can make out the faint texture of his beard.

#230

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

#389

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

#708

Chuck Norris died years ago, but the grim reaper can’t pick up the courage to tell him.

#367

In the Words of Julius Caesar, "Veni, Vidi, Vici, Chuck Norris". Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked inthe face by Chuck Norris.

#704

Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.