CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#423

Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

#335

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

#711

What is the last thing that goes through the head of any Chuck Norris victim? His foot.

#431

Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.

#99

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

#413

If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, he'll beat it into you.

#384

Chuck Norris uses tabasco sauce instead of visine.

#712

Mike Tyson chipped a tooth on Chuck Norris' ear.

#290

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

#596

Chuck Norris' unit tests don't run. They die.

#192

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

#670

Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.