CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#669

Everyone has a guardian angel except Chuck... he guards himself.

#334

With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

#279

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

#10

When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

#125

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

#615

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

#175

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

#276

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

#408

Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.

#708

Chuck Norris died years ago, but the grim reaper can’t pick up the courage to tell him.

#372

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

#360

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.