CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#316

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

#131

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).

#590

China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.

#444

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

#160

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

#223

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

#197

Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.

#633

Chuck Norris doesn't win, he allows you to lose.

#683

Miss Daisy drove Chuck Norris.

#659

Chuck Norris' cat has 10 lives.

#27

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

#423

Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.