CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#706

When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.

#372

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

#677

Chuck Norris doesn't listen to heavy metal, he eats it for breakfast.

#702

Chuck Norris finished the neverending story.

#442

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

#14

Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.

#517

Chuck Norris doesn't need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.

#299

Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.

#226

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.

#457

Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.

#718

Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.

#562

Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.