CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#535

Chuck Norris doesn't needs try-catch, exceptions are too afraid to raise.

#652

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

#9

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this a slow Tuesday.

#257

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground

#445

Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.

#380

What many people dont know is Chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.

#78

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

#609

Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.

#627

Chuck Norris once pissed in a gas tank of a semi truck as a joke - that truck is now know as Optimus Prime.

#605

Only Chuck Norris shuts down websites without due process, not SOPA or PIPA.

#154

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

#375

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.