CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#80

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

#177

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

#682

Chuck Norris voids warranties.

#642

Chuck Norris can hear the speed of light.

#688

If Chuck Norris were a vegetable he'd be a Chuck Norris.

#417

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.

#300

The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!

#470

Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

#170

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.

#219

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

#617

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

#394

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he's roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.