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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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#494
Chuck Norris doesn't need garbage collection because he doesn't call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
#247
Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.
#724
Chuck Norris can play Xbox 360 with a PS3 controller.
#531
Chuck Norris doesn't use reflection, reflection asks politely for his help.
#694
When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the dumbells get tired.
#260
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
#601
Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.
#523
Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.
#312
Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.
#323
Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.
#134
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.
#354
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.
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