Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers. 333 302 Copy WhatsApp Tweet Share Reddit Pin 52% approval (635 votes)
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
They had to edit the first ending of 'Lone Wolf McQuade' after Chuck Norris kicked David Carradine's ass, then proceeded to barbecue and eat him.
They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.