Nothing but Chuck Norris facts!
  • Random Chuck Norris joke
  • Top 100 Chuck Norris jokes

Roundhouse your way through 680 unique Chuck Norris facts

  • Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

    Chuck Norris Fact #76 299 Likes 308 Dislikes

  • Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

    Chuck Norris Fact #77 319 Likes 336 Dislikes

  • It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

    Chuck Norris Fact #78 290 Likes 314 Dislikes

  • Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

    Chuck Norris Fact #79 367 Likes 273 Dislikes

  • As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

    Chuck Norris Fact #80 294 Likes 245 Dislikes

  • An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.

    Chuck Norris Fact #81 311 Likes 297 Dislikes

  • Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

    Chuck Norris Fact #82 266 Likes 277 Dislikes

  • Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.

    Chuck Norris Fact #83 328 Likes 315 Dislikes

  • Code runs faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

    Chuck Norris Fact #84 281 Likes 411 Dislikes

  • Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decendents now have white hair.

    Chuck Norris Fact #85 301 Likes 302 Dislikes

  • The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron's ass halfway through the first chapter.

    Chuck Norris Fact #86 285 Likes 331 Dislikes

  • For Chuck Norris, NP-Hard = O(1).

    Chuck Norris Fact #87 331 Likes 273 Dislikes

  • The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.

    Chuck Norris Fact #88 331 Likes 295 Dislikes

  • Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.

    Chuck Norris Fact #89 311 Likes 292 Dislikes

  • Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.

    Chuck Norris Fact #90 342 Likes 287 Dislikes
  • « Previous
  • Next »

Showing 76 to 90 of 679 results

  • ‹
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10
  • ...
  • 45
  • 46
  • ›
Submit a Chuck Norris fact

Fact submitted