Best Clean Chuck Norris Jokes

Most Chuck Norris jokes are already fairly innocent, but "most" is not "all", and a teacher, a parent or a team lead needs certainty. This collection is hand-picked by our moderators: no profanity, no violence beyond cartoon physics, and nothing that would make a ten-year-old ask an awkward question.

These are the jokes we would put on a classroom slide, read at a birthday party, or drop into a company all-hands. They lean on the classic format, ordinary rules of the universe quietly stepping aside, which is exactly why kids love them and adults still laugh.

The list is curated rather than automated, so it grows slowly. If you have a clean favorite that isn't here, submit it and mention that it belongs in the clean collection.