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Chuck Norris vs. Superheroes

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. That's the joke that launched a thousand crossovers, and this collection has all of them: Chuck versus Batman, the Hulk, Darth Vader, the Terminator and any other fictional heavyweight the internet could think of.

The format works because superheroes come with built-in rules (kryptonite, the Force, a lightsaber) and Chuck Norris facts are all about breaking rules. The result is a genre that has stayed popular for two decades of comic-book movies. The jokes are ranked by community votes.

Purists will notice we've folded Star Wars, monsters and movie villains into the same collection. Chuck fought them all; it seemed fair.

The Collection

25 jokes

There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.

Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.

In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.

Did you know that Chuck Norris was in every Star Wars movie? He was "The Force".

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.

What many people dont know is Chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.

While investigating a series of reported sonic booms in the area around Chuck Norris' home, authorities determined Chuck was just testing chili recipes.

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Every fact in this collection was submitted or curated by fans. Add yours and our moderators will file it here if it fits.

Chuck Norris vs. Superheroes

The Collection

There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.

Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

The original title for Star Wars was "Skywalker: Texas Ranger". Starring Chuck Norris.

In a tagteam match, Chuck Norris was teamed with Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy and Andre The Giant. He pinned all 3 at the same time.

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

When Arnold says "I'll be back" in Terminator movie it is implied that he's going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

Once a police officer caught Chuck Norris, the cop was lucky enough to escape with a warning.

Chuck Norris once pissed in a gas tank of a semi truck as a joke - that truck is now know as Optimus Prime.

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.

In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.

Did you know that Chuck Norris was in every Star Wars movie? He was "The Force".

The Chuck Norris Eclipse plugin made alien contact.

What many people dont know is Chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.

The reason Superman flies is because he knows Chuck Norris is on the ground.

Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep.

Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

While investigating a series of reported sonic booms in the area around Chuck Norris' home, authorities determined Chuck was just testing chili recipes.

Submit a Chuck Norris vs. Superheroes entry

The Collection

Submit a Chuck Norris vs. Superheroes entry

One Chuck Fact.Every Morning.

One Chuck Fact.
Every Morning.