Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#31

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

#482

When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.

#483

Chuck Norris describes human beings as "a sociable holder for blood and guts".

#356

When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

#488

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

#117

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

#484

Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed.

#374

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

#525

Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

#335

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

#516

Chuck Norris doesn't need sudo, he just types "Chuck Norris" before his commands.

#123

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn't get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.