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Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
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#114
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe with eleven herbs and spices. Nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
#93
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
#603
Chuck Norris could use anything in java.util.* to kill you, including the javadocs.
#729
Chuck Norris runs laps around his opponent, in a drag race.
#682
Chuck Norris voids warranties.
#531
Chuck Norris doesn't use reflection, reflection asks politely for his help.
#28
When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'.
#591
Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
#115
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
#288
Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
#223
Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.
#349
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
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