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'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Chuck Norris. After a workout, Chuck Norris rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
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#453
Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.
#38
The pie scene in "American Pie" is based on a dare Chuck Norris took when he was younger. However, in Chuck Norris' case, the "pie" was the molten crater of an active volcano.
#428
Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
#532
There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.
#365
Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
#657
Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
#132
Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
#723
Chuck Norris can buy the Sunday paper on Tuesday.
#773
While investigating a series of reported sonic booms in the area around Chuck Norris' home, authorities determined Chuck was just testing chili recipes.
#653
Chuck Norris can win a staring contest while blinking.
#699
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
#286
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
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