#17 If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers "Two seconds till". After you ask "Two seconds to what?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
#19 If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
#26 A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.