The Internet's Chuck Norris Archive

Hundreds of facts.
One man.
Zero weaknesses.

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Fact of the Day

October 18, 2026

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

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Today's Fact Battle

Which Chuck fact wins?

When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them. VS Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

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682 Facts

61

Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.

62

Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.

63

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

64

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

65

When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.

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66

Chuck Norris programs do not accept input.

67

How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.

68

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

69

It works on my machine always holds true for Chuck Norris.

70

When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.

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71

Chuck Norris has banned rainbows from the state of North Dakota.

72

Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.

73

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

74

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

75

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

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