#62 Chuck Norris owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
#64 When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
#65 When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
#66 How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris.
#67 Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
#75 In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.