The Internet's Chuck Norris Archive

Thousands of facts.
One man.
Zero weaknesses.

Vote on the legends, save your favorites, make a meme, or let fate choose your next roundhouse.

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Fact of the Day

September 03, 2026

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

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682 Facts

586

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

587

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

588

Chuck Norris can laugh with a straight face.

589

Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.

590

Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.

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591

Chuck Norris fought the law, and Chuck Norris won.

592

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

593

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

594

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

595

Chuck Norris will make your hair grow faster than Rogaine.

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596

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.

597

Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.

598

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

599

Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.

600

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

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