The Internet's Chuck Norris Archive

Thousands of facts.
One man.
Zero weaknesses.

Vote on the legends, save your favorites, make a meme, or let fate choose your next roundhouse.

Give Me a Random Fact

Fact of the Day

September 03, 2026

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

Open

The Rankings

682 Facts

451

Chuck Norris' database has only one table, 'Kick', which he DROPs frequently.

452

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

453

Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.

454

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.

455

Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

Sponsored

456

Chuck Norris' first program was kill -9.

457

Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.

458

How many Chuck Norris' require to screw a light bulb? None, he will screw it all.

459

Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.

460

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

Sponsored

461

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

462

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.

463

Chuck Norris can taste lies.

464

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

465

When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.

Showing 451 to 465 of 682 results

‹
1
2
...
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
...
45
46
›