Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#542

Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.

#429

Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

#640

Jaws stays on the beach when Chuck Norris swims.

#277

Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

#305

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

#248

The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice.

#127

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

#88

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

#581

If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris' programs, it backfires.

#168

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

#180

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

#499

Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions and have them return.