Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#304

Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.

#336

Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

#464

According to the Bible, God created the universe in six days. Before that, Chuck Norris created God by snapping his fingers.

#264

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

#163

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

#293

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

#532

There is no Esc key on Chuck Norris' keyboard, because no one escapes Chuck Norris.

#226

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.

#481

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

#636

Chuck Norris made the sun by rubbing his hands together.

#528

Chuck Norris doesn't pair program.

#635

Chuck Norris once sold eBay to eBay on eBay.