Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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More Chuck Norris facts

#319

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.

#176

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

#70

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light

#92

Faster than a speeding bullet... More powerful than a locomotive... Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... These are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.

#419

Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.

#548

Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.

#215

Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.

#286

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

#718

Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.

#231

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

#525

Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.

#124

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.