The Internet's Chuck Norris Archive

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One man.
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Fact of the Day

September 04, 2026

Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.

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682 Facts

376

Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.

377

Chuck Norris causes the Windows Blue Screen of Death.

378

Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.

379

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.

380

Did you know that Chuck Norris was in every Star Wars movie? He was "The Force".

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381

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

382

Chuck Norris can bake in a Freezer.

383

Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.

384

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

385

Chuck Norris does infinite loops in 4 seconds.

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386

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

387

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

388

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

389

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'.

390

Chuck Norris can read from an input stream.

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