#376 Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.
#377 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
#378 Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
#379 In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
#382 The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
#386 Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.
#388 Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.