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  • The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

    Chuck Norris Fact #331 302 Likes 323 Dislikes

  • Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

    Chuck Norris Fact #332 261 Likes 284 Dislikes

  • Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

    Chuck Norris Fact #333 265 Likes 301 Dislikes

  • There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris Fact #334 300 Likes 235 Dislikes

  • Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

    Chuck Norris Fact #335 292 Likes 351 Dislikes

  • If you were somehow able to land a punch on Chuck Norris your entire arm would shatter upon impact. This is only in theory, since, come on, who in their right mind would try this?

    Chuck Norris Fact #336 312 Likes 317 Dislikes

  • 70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

    Chuck Norris Fact #337 304 Likes 216 Dislikes

  • Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.

    Chuck Norris Fact #338 264 Likes 269 Dislikes

  • Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

    Chuck Norris Fact #339 266 Likes 290 Dislikes

  • Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.

    Chuck Norris Fact #340 302 Likes 344 Dislikes

  • MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart.

    Chuck Norris Fact #341 421 Likes 303 Dislikes

  • Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

    Chuck Norris Fact #342 329 Likes 297 Dislikes

  • Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

    Chuck Norris Fact #343 293 Likes 335 Dislikes

  • The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris Fact #344 262 Likes 289 Dislikes

  • Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

    Chuck Norris Fact #345 286 Likes 330 Dislikes
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