The Internet's Chuck Norris Archive

Thousands of facts.
One man.
Zero weaknesses.

Vote on the legends, save your favorites, make a meme, or let fate choose your next roundhouse.

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Fact of the Day

September 04, 2026

Once Chuck Norris and Superman had a competition. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.

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682 Facts

361

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

362

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

363

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

364

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

365

Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.

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366

Chuck Norris doesn't drive, he tells the car where to go.

367

Kryptonite has been found to contain trace elements of Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks to the face. This is why it is so deadly to Superman.

368

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

369

Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.

370

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

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371

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

372

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

373

Chuck Norris starts everyday with a protein shake made from Carnation Instant Breakfast, one dozen eggs, pure Colombian cocaine, and rattlesnake venom. He injects it directly into his neck with a syringe.

374

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

375

Chuck Norris doesn't say "who's your daddy", because he knows the answer.

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