The Internet's Chuck Norris Archive

Hundreds of facts.
One man.
Zero weaknesses.

Vote on the legends, save your favorites, make a meme, or let fate choose your next roundhouse.

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Fact of the Day

October 18, 2026

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

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Today's Fact Battle

Which Chuck fact wins?

When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them. VS Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

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The Rankings

682 Facts

646

The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.

647

There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.

648

Chuck Norris can retrieve anything from /dev/null.

649

Knock knock, who's there? Chuck Norris! Chuck Norris who? Sorry, joke is over when Chuck Norris gets involved!

650

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.

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651

Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with obstruction of justice. This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.

652

Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.

653

Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.

654

When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.

655

With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

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656

Don't worry about tests, Chuck Norris' test cases cover your code too.

657

Chuck Norris can lock a safe and keep the key inside it.

658

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.

659

Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.

660

The only sure things are Death and Taxes and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.

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