#572 Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
#576 The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris". This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
#578 CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
#582 The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.
#584 Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.