#572 The 11th commandment is "Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris". This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.
#575 CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
#579 The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Even the worst-laid plans of Chuck Norris come off without a hitch.
#580 Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
#583 Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
#584 If you rearrange the letters in "Chuck Norris", they also spell "Crush Rock In". The words "with his fists" are understood.