The Internet's Chuck Norris Archive

Thousands of facts.
One man.
Zero weaknesses.

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Fact of the Day

September 03, 2026

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

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682 Facts

481

Chuck Norris is Simon Cowell's judge.

482

Chuck Norris puts sunglasses on to protect the sun from his eyes.

483

Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.

484

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... A suicide.

485

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

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486

Brokeback Mountain is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

487

If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.

488

Chuck Norris' programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.

489

Chuck Norris doesn't need an account. He just logs in.

490

A diff between your code and Chuck Norris' is infinite.

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491

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.

492

Chuck Norris once beat a wall at tennis.

493

Chuck Norris can download emails with his pick-up.

494

Chuck Norris tears can cure the cancer, but the sad thing is Chuck Norris never cries.

495

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

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