The Internet's Chuck Norris Archive

Hundreds of facts.
One man.
Zero weaknesses.

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Fact of the Day

October 18, 2026

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

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Today's Fact Battle

Which Chuck fact wins?

When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them. VS Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

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682 Facts

166

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

167

When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.

168

A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

169

Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.

170

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

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171

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

172

One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.

173

Chuck Norris won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in ass-kicking.

174

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).

175

Chuck Norris doesn't need a debugger, he just stares down the bug until the code confesses.

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176

Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match.

177

Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, Chuck Norris asks for a body bag.

178

The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.

179

For Spring Break '05, Chuck Norris drove to Madagascar, riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.

180

Chuck Norris once thought he was wrong. He was, however, mistaken.

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