The Internet's Chuck Norris Archive

Hundreds of facts.
One man.
Zero weaknesses.

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Fact of the Day

October 21, 2026

Chuck Norris can dry his hair under water.

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Today's Fact Battle

Which Chuck fact wins?

Chuck Norris doesn't use Oracle, he is the Oracle. VS When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

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The Rankings

682 Facts

286

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

287

Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.

288

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

289

Chuck Norris can write multi-threaded applications with a single thread.

290

After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

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291

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

292

Chuck Norris can dereference NULL.

293

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

294

When Chuck Norris crosses the road, the cars have to look both ways.

295

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

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296

Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.

297

China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.

298

No statement can catch the ChuckNorrisException.

299

Chuck Norris' version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

300

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light

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